I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
