Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
