He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
