He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
