why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
