So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
