Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
