i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You dont lie about slip and slides
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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