Who wears a wallet chain?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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