how can u be prego again
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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