at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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