so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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