omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
