If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
