Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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