There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
