He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
