I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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