I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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