After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
