I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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