apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
