I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
