butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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