Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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