this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
