It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
