Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
