after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
