Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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