Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
