my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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