it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
