I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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