Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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