I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
