i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
