"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
