belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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