her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
