A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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