Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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