if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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