I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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