the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
