you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
