He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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