yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
