if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
