The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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