I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
