I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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